Music to the Words of Torchwood
by Captain Harkness 4 eva
Summary: Some songs I thought that would fit with the Torchwood team! It is best if you listen to the piece of music on YouTube whilst reading! Lots of fun to write this, hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Monster

(By 40 Foot Echo)

Jack let his thoughts run wild. Out on the top of the a hill in the middle of nowhere, it was dark and cold and his WW2 greatcoat was wrapped around him tightly fulfilling its duty in keeping him warm. But nothing could melt his frozen heart. His eyes closed and instantly his mind was filled with flashbacks, Ianto's body heavy in his arms, the toxic gas was filling his own lungs, in the background were the screams of the fallen. He could feel the weight of Ianto's fragile body in his arms now, it was his entire fault. Ianto's ghostly face followed him everywhere now reminding him it was because of him. Jack had put Ianto's life at risk, so young only 26, so many years wasted and another tear in his heart. Jack was falling apart, it had already been six months but he knew he would always remain to be a monster, nothing could change that. Jack had finally lost himself after hundreds of years holding himself together, he needed Ianto because now he was crumbling, he was no longer the Captain Gwen saw him to be. During the action everyday he could never see how he was splitting the lives of those he worked with, wonderful people died because he put them in the firing line. First Suzie the Tosh, Owen, Ianto, Steven, how many more he had to ask himself? Only monsters did this and that was what he was, a monster. He was surrounded by death and his life got colder and colder as more and more comrades and lovers died. What was worse Jack never got to say goodbye and he could never forgive himself for not telling Ianto that he loved him. As Jack opened his eyes he saw the pregnant Gwen trailing up the hill towards him, the only survivor and a broken smile spread across his face, it was all his fault.


	2. Chapter 2

This I Promise You

(Roan Keating)

Walking down the aisle as she had never imagined before, at the end of the carpet stood her hero as she walked on dress trailing behind she heard Jack's words in her ears, the hero always gets the girl. Gwen smiled because she knew looking at Rhys' warm smile he was that hero. Standing in front of him she felt ready to owe her life to him now, they clasped hands in matrimony and reassurance, warmth flowing between them, making a connection. She turned her gap toothed smile up to the eyes of her man. His hazel eyes swirled with what would come in their life together; no one else could be this man. Gwen though I promise you my love, my comfort, my reassurance, my all and with that she uttered the words I DO, and Rhys' eyes searched hers and all the answers were there. Gwen's life at the moment had been running beneath her, but now there was stability and there was nowhere else for her to run but into his open arms and she knew she would be happy there.

Dancing closer than before, Rhys' heartbeat reached through to her own and she realised they beated in the same rhythm, they were together now and she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck willing him with her heart to never let her go. A lone tear trickled down her cheek and stained his shirt, they were for each other forever that was clear now. Out of the corner of her eye Gwen caught a glimpse of Jack smiling from a distance as he watched his heroin with _her _hero, he winked at her but she only smiled back. Jack could never be the one for her, he was wrong and although she knew it made his heart ache she had made her promise to Rhys now and she vowed to keep it forever more.


	3. Chapter 3

Rule The World

(Take That)

**As a once amazing Dr. John Barrowman dedicated this song, I now dedicate this song to the wonderful Jack and Gwen, the best Torchwood team ever.**

Floating in space like a lost traveller, time gushed by and the stars spread out before him, Jack moved on and on chasing away his fears, but as he strode among the galaxies there was only one star that shined the brightest and that was Gwen. She radiated throughout time casting her luminosity for all to see. She could blind any mere mortal but Jack stared right into her absorbing her radiation to make himself that little bit better. She was all he had left and he could never let her go, but her light was hard to trap and now he had drifted off into orbit. Words formed in his mouth and he belted them out into space "DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES, DON'T FADE AWAY!" And he clung onto those words as if they were Gwen herself. Jack's heart continued to beat steadily but he knew it was weak and he had lost most of what it was holding on to, did he have any love left, could he ever love again? But he had to hold on he must hold on to her, her love encapsulated him and in her he saw everything he was not and that way together they could rule the world. Jack wished he had her by his side now, they could ride the stars together he just needed her trust and he would take her hand in his and they could fly.

He would be there, her solider through wars he could keep her safe and if the heavens broke down he would be there for her like he had for no one else because he had no one else and all he could do now is keep her, he would not let the last one fall. She was the last sinew to his heart and that kept him going, it kept the last steady beats of his heart repeating on a cycle. Jack knew if Gwen left his side now it would be the end of him, they were good together and he didn't need to ask her to confirm that. Looking around in a 360 degree turn Jack could see darkness for miles and miles, endless darkness, but the stars shone through the darkness, lighting up Jack's whole world and more. The stars were there to remind him of Gwen.

Jack spun around and around, turning in on himself, round and round he went, light shining everywhere all around him, blinding him, scarring an imprint on his memory. He was propelled into the air as he flicked the button on his vortex manipulator, soaring into the emptiness but he was not alone, Gwen was all around him. The stars called out to him "We can rule the world!" him and Gwen until the end, forever casting their eternal light across time.


	4. Chapter 4

If Tomorrow Never Comes

(Roan Keating)

Owens's heart wrenched hearing the broken words of his lover through his earpiece, but all Owen could do was let his body go limp and give into her words. He had never shown his love for Tosh and now it was too late, meaningless words slipped from his tongue, what did she want in him, he had given her nothing but she still held on even now. Tosh had never received Owens's love, he had never let those words escape from his mouth, "I love you" he whispered and in the silence on the other end he could hear her heart breaking. Often Owen lay awake at night dreaming of the day when it would be too late and Tosh would lose him without knowing he loved her deeply. Everyday Owen looked at her beside him at her computer and in his mind he spoke the words "I love you" clearly, slowly pronouncing each syllable with compassion, words torn from his heart out into the open. But in reality those words never escaped except for now, when it is too late as there was no tomorrow.

Hoping that glances and smiles, touching of hands and working close together, dying and saving together as a team, friends and lost lovers would be enough for her to hold on to as he drifted away now. She had to face it all on her own now and it was difficult enough, Owen knew that. Tosh and Owen had once agreed that the best person to be with would be somebody who experiences a similar life to you. Owen had been beaming inside at the time knowing that Tosh had been hinting that they were perfect for each other but struggling to acknowledge this by telling her he loved her.

Owen had lost many others in his life, Diane and Katie left his soul without feeling its true extent and Tosh would be the same, another left without love. Owen had always imagined that the better version of himself would let those that he loved know that he really loved them, Tosh would no longer be crying over heartbreak and they could be happily together. He would tell her everyday that he loved her so much that when his final moments approached him she would be happy knowing that he loved her. But there was a barrier he had to cross to let her know she was his only one, but the barrier was too high and too strong for him to knock down. There was more to see than the sly, witty doctor he appeared to be, behind that cockiness he was sensitive and caring even emotional. But now radiation absorbed him as his life spilt through his fingers along with Tosh's sobs, little did he know that she was dying on the other end not only from heartbreak.


	5. Chapter 5

Bring Him Home

(RyanDan)

Jack sat slumped in his worn leather chair in his dim office, only his desk lamp casting a glimmer across his solemn face and his sharp chin rested in his gently curled fist. Only silence filled the large desolate room; not even his soft rolling tears could penetrate the solemnity of it. But deep within his soul, he was calling and bleating like a lost lamb, for whom he did not know, but praying someone in the darkness would hear him. Someone had always been here for him, a guiding hand and a soothing voice in the shadows. But Owen, he was gone, so young like all of them and Jack just couldn't bear it. He was now a lost soul, part of death which Jack had experienced many times too often. But Jack had lived long enough to be ready for death Owen hadn't, he was just a boy. Jack reminisced as he realised what Owen would be experiencing, he would be so afraid running from the movement in the darkness. Jack only wanted him to rest, to be at peace, to be safe but what he really, really desperately wanted was for him to be back with the living, part of the team back home and he wished and wished this on the furthest brightest star he had ever reached.

Jack cared for Owen as a son, all the team were his children to look after and keep safe, but he had failed to do so. Memories whirled around his mind so fast like summers passing and turning into winter, passing too fast, dying like the setting sun every day, moments he could no longer hold on to. Like his long life it all melted from his grasp, he was old, older than anybody, too old he should be dying but even Captain Jack Harkness was afraid of dying. Owen was so young, he should have lived a happy life with joy and happiness, a full life but had Jack given him that, no he had not even been able to give him that and he could never forgive himself for this. He smiled as he remembered why Owen had wanted to become a doctor; he had hoped that saving one life would maybe make his own life better. Jack thought again about those deepest corners of the galaxies, he didn't believe in a God but he did believe in life and he wished that for Owen.

Jack did not deserve his long life in comparison, Owen was much more deserving. Jack should have died and at some moments in his life he had wanted to, but really he was so scarred even thinking about it now he was terrified, sinking within himself at the thought of it, so desperately clinging on to his life, he took it for granted he knew that. But Owen had not, he had lived every moment as if it was his last because he knew what it was to lose someone; he was a doctor after all. Jack thought about it and realised he would happily die in Owens's place and he should have done the moment Mr. Copley had raised his gun, if he had taken the bullet for Owen he might of made his own life better, but he and not and now he sat glumly contemplating the action that had shattered him. Images played in his mind; Owen lying cold dead on the ground, the last trickles of blood from his mouth drying as his eyes fell closed and then the tears from Jack's eyes stopped rolling.


	6. Chapter 6

The Mention of Your Name

(Chris Rea)

**For Jack and Angelo, set after Miracle Day!**

Time moves by so fast, as it always does and tears roll continuously, bearing down my cheeks. The tears are dry now and there is no longer my own sobbing sound in the back of my mind but a lonely silence that is crushing in on me. The nights are long and filled with blankness, an empty void, no one near me, but this has become the norm. Loneliness is my constant companion and there is no one else I can turn to. Years of this cold isolation pass, a constant reminder that I have no one. But the pain passes with time as it always does; the bad memories loose themselves in the back of my mind. Angelo's face fades to a ghostly image but when anyone mentions his name a chill fills by bones and the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I feel his presence in the room and I see his panicked face as I jumped off the building the last time I saw him young. That was when I realised; falling in love just kills me.

The tears roll again with memories of our nights in the room in the middle of little Italy in New York back in 1927. Laughs and love we shared brightens the horizon but a cold ominous cloud pulls over and I see his frail old body and hear the still beep of the heart monitor as he comes to his rest in my arms. I see pictures of Ianto and myself by his bedside and wished he could have been there with us. But I also remember his anger and fear as he pierced the side of my body with a blade. Blood stained and tears rolling leaving a salt taste in my mouth, I touch his face and look into his hazelnut eyes, his smooth skin under my hands and the soft clicking of rosary beads in the dark of the night. But it is his name that echoes in the back of my mind, forever.

But what can I do, pain and heartbreak are part of the punishment of immortality and there is nothing more I can do except shrug my shoulders and as a sight rattles out of my tired body I give in to immortality. I realise I am slowly dying and feel age is wearing me down. Heartbreak has gnawed at my soul until there is no more love to share, it is only memories of Angelo that float around me and my soul has become colder with time. Over time I have learnt to keep my feelings to myself so that I don't hurt people around me by expressing my feelings it's better that way. But it is still the same; the feelings hidden deep down within myself are forever the same whenever I hear the mention of your name.


	7. Chapter 7

**I recently found this fic in my writing file and realised I had not finished it, but I read through it and it ended quiet well... so it does not finish with the piece of music, but still listen to it whilst reading.**

Please Don't Leave Me

(P!ink)

To My Carriad

I'm sorry I took a sheet from your diary to write this, I hope you don't mind...

I was thinking of you last night when I could not sleep, I was listening to the stillness of the Hub and this song rang in my ears.

The events of yesterday rolled out in front of me, could I have been any more cold? It takes me a while to soak on my actions, I didn't realise... "How many times have I kicked you out of here? Or said something insulting?" Sorry is not enough for the way I have treated you. But all I have is sorry and theses few words. It's my nature "I can be so mean if I want to be." I just can't control my emotions especially when I'm so in love with you "When my heart is broken!" So please don't leave me, just hold on to what we have, I still love you.


	8. Chapter 8

Right Here Waiting For You

(John Barrowman)

Ianto sat on a train staring glumly out of the window. He saw the blur of green countryside passing by but mainly he saw his own reflection staring back at himself. His gaze rose a little higher and he admired the soft pink haze the setting sun had left on the white fluffy clouds, which had been strewn across the soft blue blanket of sky. Once again he caught his own pale blue eyes staring back at himself and noticed they were welling with water. Further back in the distant reflection Ianto noticed other passengers looking out the window on the opposite side of the train, the backs of their heads refusing to turn around and catch his gaze.

With no one opposite him Ianto continued to stare out of his own window and now lent his head back on the headrest, tears starting to roll, but no one around him noticing. He thought of his distant lover, oceans apart, each day passing unnoticed into the next, becoming a blur like the scenery passing Ianto now. Ianto could feel his head reeling with the loss, he needed the contact, the comfort; he needed Jack beside him. A phone call-even if there was one-would not be good enough. Besides Ianto knew he would never have Jack forever, it almost was not worth it. However Ianto did know he would be there for Jack as long as he needed, even if Jack thought otherwise. Truth was _Ianto_ needed Jack and he also knew he would always be waiting for Jack and that he probably would never come.

Ianto knew what it was like, how you appreciate things more when you don't have them. Now, away from Jack, Ianto realised how lucky he was to have him and also how much he truly loved him, how although he was one of the many lovers and friends of the great Captain Jack Harkness, he was at least one in the hundreds. But it was hard at times; Ianto often felt he was just _the_ one in a hundred, pushed aside like a shifting pile of dust.

Jack would look at him and see nothing or even worse, look right through him. It had Ianto going crazy, he wanted to shout out that he was there and he also had a heart that needed some love. Instead Ianto just kept waiting right there, taking all the blows and knocks in the meantime. Waiting for his turn.

Taking in the scenery again Ianto saw the rolling green hills and how they rode on the surface of the Earth. Ianto thought how he had survived Jack's bumpy life and he realised he was one of those mere little blades of grass that were clinging on to the wild rolling hills. And then he thought again, he was surviving and he got to see Jack pretty much every day, what more could he ask for?


End file.
